'Today started out horrendously—my ride fell ill and I missed an important job interview. But I went for a walk and visited five places, each time asking about the hiring process. I started an...
536058
Half of all we do owes to a sort of pervasive boredom.
Girl: . . . because men are bad with words. Me: Hey, men are not bad withx97bad withx97bad withx97what's the word? Oh, that's it!
If jokes had mid-life crises and bought circuses and took LSD in dosages large enough to kill elephants, then I would make those jokes. 2.5/10
Congratulations—you've found it!
You're back! Welcome. You'll find that a lot of the old users left; the forum sheds its skin every couple of years or so.
I'll be happy as soon as I see Frapping him with disembodied arteries on the thread list.
No problem; I'll just re-derive my solutions.
I notice that limiting my computer use tends to make me a happier, healthier, more productive person. Fuck that, though.
I don't want to do that one, really. Get thee to a nunnery. Mt. Molehill. Never time travel.
I can hardly read anymore, because I pay so much attention to the construction of language that a particularly grabby sentence gets me thinking about my own desire to write. I'd sooner complete my...
And I should add: if you decide to improve (and it really is a decision that you have to make every day), improvement won't happen all at once. It takes years to fill a hole one can dig in months,...
I'm not going to say what you want to hear. Still, if you feel anything I've said is off-base, feel free to discount it; I'm not a psychologist. Yes, you're selfish. But not because you lack...
It can't be any other way with strap-ons.
And some more was supposed to designate unrelated quotes, as a sort of bonus round.
Sunday theme: olfaction.
u200bhhh
This thread is your opportunity to quote other users while excluding most of their post, for the sake of hilarity. I'll start.
To find a solution, you need to ask yourself: When do people have sex? There is an obvious answer to this question, which is perhaps hidden in plain sight: People have sex when their species is at...
The following is from the play Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, by Tom Stoppard. GUILDENSTERN: A man breaking his journey between one place and another at a third place of no name,...
Every so often I accidentally put the fingers in the tooth-box and the teeth in the finger-box. It almost always leads the victim's family to believe I'm anatomically retarded, which can ruin the...
I drink coffee daily, but not because it's a stimulant. My biggest reasons are to enjoy the taste and to avoid experiencing withdrawal. I have an extremely high tolerance for caffeine, and can fall...
I drew a picture of my friend fighting zombies while mounting a hippo today, on the free response portion of an AP exam. Here is the accompanying poem (x97 representing my friend's monosyllabic...
I love math, but I was lucky enough to have taught it to myself. People who receive schooling in math before coming to terms with it on their own, I notice, are often resentful of it. I think it...
I can eat 3.8 rolls of sushi per minute, without really trying. When I do try, that number is probably closer to 5.0. Not really a feat, but fast enough that it's socially unacceptable.
Didn't take the ACT, but took the SAT and scored a 2350. Still, colleges really don't care; they look for scores within a ballpark. If you have shit grades, as I do, your likelihood of being...
Existence, albeit beautiful, is a mess. Nobody is happy who prizes happiness. Two things in life never run short: desire and sloth. Habit is a cost-effective death for those who can't afford...
To answer your first question, I'm interested in starting conversation. To answer your second, people on this forum share loads of confidential information on a daily basis. So long as they...
I know that a thread has already been made on this topic, but I won't bother to find and revive it. Furthermore, I'd like there to be a definite format. It should go as follows: An example...
Ideology is cheap and disingenuous, like Febreze. (By ideology, I don't mean belief. I mean belief, systematized and dogmatized.) I don't live with people who resort to using Febreze...
This is a very good question, albeit neglected owing to the--ahem--audience. I mean it when I say: go to coffee shops and start conversations with random people. Most are pretty open to...
Hot showers. I never take cold showers, and would prefer I keep some semblance of hygiene. On a related topic, some philosophers actually wrote against masturbation.
ME: I'm going to go home, and I'm going to kill myself. FRIEND: April Fools? (I slowly shake my head.)
Oh but people look well in the dark. (Two cents to whoever can guess what that's from.) 499802
Step 1: Disembowl Sorry, I was copying from my other friend manual. Anyway, engage him in one of the topics he finds interesting. Let him talk to you. I find, if I talk enough to anything, be...
Ah, to-fu, the most mysterious of the martial arts.
Yeah, but they always catch me before I get to the cornfield.
It better; I'm not paying for Flat Stanley.
People rarely like their lives improved. They prefer wading in the pile of shit to which they've become accustomed.
How very improper. But, if you must know, I can always ask them.
Depends. Do its teeth retract, and will it not call me afterwards?
I've performed a successful measurement of my productivity. It's about 2000 ppm / oz. caffeine.
Tried that excuse, they still towed me.
Until I actually attract someone, I'll leave this one blank.
499658 (So glad I got the chance to use that one.)
I like my salad as I like my women: undressed. Catalina.
Being told I'm vulnerable really gets me.
I realize I am the kind of person who performs flawlessly at level ten and beyond, but can't succeed at level one. Solving advanced combinatorics problems? Self-studying calculus? Writing...
Writer's block is terrible. I can only use short, basic words. Ideas and analogies are as sparse as... as...'
