'There is no right or wrong here. I'm really glad you found something that works for you. Just remember, we're all different and it's important to respect the individual paths we each choose for...
Very nicely put. I agree. I think chinotto's qualifications are also important considerations.
To my ISTP brothers (I realize this may be like herding cats): I know it's frustrating being us. I get annoyed and frustrated too. But try to keep your eyes and your mind open despite all that...
Yes! You really are starting to get it. What we desire is not within the confines of traditional social expectations for dating. It's a very basic concept, really. How to retain yourself as an...
I think what chinotto is saying is not to go crazy pursuing her. Just don't shut her out. Don't write her off. Just because you think she's higher caliber than you now, doesn't mean that's...
Exactly. And when they come back to reconnect, if one sees that the other needs some support, encouragement or a challenge, they can offer that. It is about helping each other grow as individuals...
I feel the exact same way, n2freedom! 100%. We're learning a lot from each other. It's pretty effin' cool.
Wow. Incredible words and mighty sage advice! I think relationships with us will be about as genuine as any relationship can be. And, you're right, a lot of it has to do with our respect for you...
I shared this quote with n2 already and thought maybe it could help some people here: If you have one eye on yesterday and one eye on tomorrow, you're going to be cockeyed today. - Anonymous
Yeah, I think this is good distinction to make. That's a great description. We do need our loved ones to have a recurring subscription to our hearts and minds. Without it, we can't trust that you...
I've found that I have to really watch myself around guys who feel they have to overcompensate for their lack of confidence. They often feel threatened by my effortless, natural confidence. I'm...
Holy awesome insights! I think I struggle a lot with trying to understand how much I protect and value my love and trust. I guess I've always had a hunch that my love is virtually free of...
So many good things here to keep me thinking! I honestly can't get enough. You are absolutely right when you speak of our love as being pure. There is no bullshit attached to it. No strings. ...
Aw, thanks. If I've been able to help you see beyond our tough ISTP exteriors, then I feel I've done my job. We really are softies at heart. It's just that few people actually get to experience...
That is the million dollar question, isn't it? I struggle with this incessantly. I have a very difficult time recognizing when someone really cares for me. I think, first and foremost, I have to...
When I was younger I used to do this all the time. I was absolutely clueless what the other person sought and needed. Still, I'm no expert but I think I have better clue now. I've learned to move...
I know. This is one of our huge flaws. Difficult to contend with on the receiving end. I have apologized for this often. Lucky for me and my loved ones that I rarely get bored nowadays.
This is something that has taken me time to learn. Words go a long way with people. While I may not need you to say I'm sorry to me, I need to be able to say it to you. Recognizing the...
The reverse is true, too. If I hurt or piss off someone, I'll typically say a quick I'm sorry and combine it with taking them out for some fun activity. I know they need to hear the words, but...
Wow, I think this is very important. I like your bandwidth analogy. That's a great way to put it. Our ability to process our emotions is stymied by our low bandwidth. It's much easier and more...
If we're bored we'll mix things up just to get our fixing fix.
Awesome insight chinotto! Great things to think about here. I'd say that we are very good at pushing people away. Whenever we feel intense feelings that we don't understand, we freak out and...
Thank you, tokyovogue. Your sharing helps many of us trying to figure some of this stuff out. I know what you mean about limbo. I also feel I'm in that zone a lot. I think the best thing you...
You do know the feeling is mutual. Absolutely, 100% right back at you. We mean it when we say it, too.
Perfectly said. And yes, I was surprised.
This is great advice! I tend to take measured risks like this, too. I know many people who dive right in head first, but that's not my style. I'm very much in favor of balanced risks. It's helped...
Unfortunately, I don't think there is a magic bullet to speed through our WTF years. I think all ISTPs experience them in one form or another. It's the price we pay for spending our valuable energy...
While it's difficult, give yourself some time buddy. When I was your age I always related better to people who were older than I was. The age gap will condense and you'll feel much more...
At chinotto's suggestion, I'm going to share this tidbit. Hoping to help some of the younger ISTPs here, who undoubtedly find people and the subjective world of emotions mighty confusing. It's...
Abso-effin-lutely! Cheers.
Had to laugh. When telling her how to get someplace, my mom will always ask me to give her mom directions. Meaning include lots of landmarks and spatial clues to help guide her. I can relate.
I think we don't think anything is there because we aren't versed in the language of feelings. We don't acknowledge emotions the way they do. But this is their first language and they see it within...
Wow. Just wow. So true it cuts right through me. Epiphany upon epiphany. Incredible.
It think that relationships with us are so difficult and weird because we don't abide by traditional social expectations. Usually, people can relate to each other rather easily by consulting the...
Aw, thank you! Yes, I'm getting better at accepting compliments. Still not the easiest for me, though. I'm still searching if that's what you're asking. It's hard for me to describe what my...
Oh boy. I may regret this. Where to begin? First, let me say many of these assumptions have been proven false. I've learned a lot since I first formed them. I used to think that outgoing people...
I love your circle metaphor. That's exactly how I view my relationships with people. It's never a straight-line trajectory. Indeed, still waters do run deep. It still amazes me how easily you...
Heartbreaking. If the emotions you're reading from us are telling you we dig you a lot, you're probably right. We'll likely come to the same conclusion, but it just takes us a lot longer to get...
Holy wake-up call! I've never looked at it this way before. You see so many things in us that we don't see ourselves. I'm amazed. Impressed. In awe. When you put it into these words, it becomes...
This is exactly what we need to hear! I think communication is key to any relationship, but especially with an ISTP. It's probably more difficult with us, too. But we are more than willing to be...
Absolutely spot on, my friend. You took the words right out of my mouth. It's nice to know I'm not alone in thinking this way. Thanks.
An ISTP combusting can take on many forms. I can't really speak to how it looks to the outside observer, but when I combust I go into a panic. My reaction to that panic either involves fleeing or...
I will have a proper response soon enough, but thought I'd respond to this bit in the meantime. That's a difficult question to answer, but I'll say that if he's about my age, he's in his prime age...
It sounds like you're starting to figure things out. I will say, though, that if you have any feelings for him that go beyond sexual, you shouldn't give up on him. But, if you don't think it's...
Please don't shut up. Going to the gym is always a great idea, though.
This is all great stuff! I think this bears repeating, pretty much everything you offer him, you have to be willing to give him w/o contingencies? You have to give it to him because you want to,...
Before I get back to my introspective postings (chinotto has me with much to say!), n2, I wanted to address this because it's time sensitive. Every situation is different, but over 2 weeks seems...
Keep it comin'! Your thinking through your writing helps so many of us. THANK YOU! I think I have thought about past relationships a bit, mostly to figure out ways I can fix what went wrong. To...
How do you tell a writer to stop writing? How do you tell a runner to stop running? How do you tell an ISTP to stop fixing? You can't. It's in our bones and in our souls to help, to fix. We give...
Woa. An ENFP with guarded emotions? He must have really did you in. I can relate completely. That sucks. We learn a lot from these situations, but we're never really quite the same are we. ...'
